Real Talk....

     Ok , I'm going to say it... I yelled at Yeshua today. Well, there you have it . 

 Since my last post in February I've been on a journey. A rather frustrating  one. The best way I can describe it is that somewhere climbing the mountain of Life I found a plateau and took a sit down. But instead of keeping my eyes towards the top of the mountain , I started looking down towards the rocky bottom. 

 Now , I love Yeshua. But as do all children at times , I didn't see eye-to-eye with Him. Heck... I didn't even think He saw me , to be honest. I've been struggling with so much spiritually. I have this vision of how I want Him to move in my life . I see it , I feel it , so why doesn't that happen.... 

 For an example , I know some folks who are quite imperfect. As are we all. And day after day ....heck ..more like year after year, they seem to find so much favor in the L-rd. He speaks to them in ways that I desire. He does things for them that I'd love to see Him do with our lives. So I told G-d

    "Seriously, what makes them so freaking special that they find favor with you all the time"? Yes I know they're human and have bad days , but I never see G-d not working in their lives. I guess its a great testimony for them .But for me.. it was like rubbing salt in a wound. So I asked again , " Do only people who are doing right all the time get You favor"?

 Now mind you , I'm not saying any of this in a nice voice... I'm truly having words with Yeshua. I was so upset. Ive asked for Him to move in our lives , like really move. And I believe, truly. I begged for my own growth. But still was so frustrated. So, a bit mad, a bit upset, I went on about my day.

 So one of my best friends called me the day before and asked if I wanted to get my nose pierced today. ( we have been planning this for over a year now!) So I agreed to today. So we get there , get them done , take a snap shot to remember it (it was so much fun), and we went on our way. As I do most things in my life I hit up my  fav go-to social network , Instagram . Posted the photo. Little did I know that I was about to be spoken to in one heck of a mighty way!

 A dear "instagrammer" whom I barely know, left me a comment that she felt impressed to say.She quoted me a verse. Its Ezekiel 16:11-13 it says "¹¹ I adorned you with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms and a necklace around your neck, ¹² and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. ¹³ So you were adorned with gold and silver; your
clothes were of fine linen and costly fabric and embroidered cloth. Your food was honey, olive oil and the finest flour. You became very beautiful and rose to be a queen.

After she posted it she added " I knew I had to give this to you! He adores you sister".  Wow...really...even when I shouted at Him without right , He still sends someone to give me His word.... Out of the mouth of G-d and into my heart. It was what I needed. It sure felt like it hit me right smack between the eyes. I said a quick , but heartfelt , "i'm sorry L-rd" and knew full well what He was trying to tell me. I got the sense of feeling loved. Its hard to explain , but I had the vision of Yeshua looking down on me , smiling right into my soul, and caressing my face with such tender , fatherly love.. Not saying a word to me but I could see the compassion in his eyes. Telling me He was so sorry ...even though He had done nothing wrong.

  So ...where I go from here I'm not sure. The only positive thing I know to do is to start climbing that mountain again. Its  a hard one, but the end is totally worth the while.